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Words to Live By…Meryl Streep

“I want to feel my life while I’m in it.”

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You Know You’re a Hooker When…

You preface anything you’re about to say with, “I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a slut.” Chances are you’re very aware that what you’re about to say is going to make you sound like a giant $2 road whore so you might as well just skip the introduction and get right down to the knitty gritty.

You Know You’re a Hooker When…

You’re in the hospital with pneumonia and you’re STILL text messaging your friends asking where the party is at tonight! The antibiotics haven’t even made it through your system yet and you’re already worried about where your gonna find your next “sponsor.” No one’s trying to see you in the club taking shots and dropping it like it’s hot to a Flo Rida song…with an IV attached to your thirsty ass. P.R.I.O.R.I.T.I.E.S.

Funky Fresh Goodness: Versace for H&M Men’s Jacket!

There are very few things in life that would make me voluntarily get up at 6 A.M. and stand in line so that I can fight other fashion hungry shoppers for a little treasure or two…but I think I just discovered my reason! As most fashion savvy consumers are aware, every so often H&M pairs up with a major fashion label to produce a more “affordable” line for all us “regular” folk out there in the world (a.k.a. the 99% of the population who can’t afford to spend $3,000 on a pair of Balmain jeans).

Well this Saturday is the official launch of the Versace for H&M line and I fully intend to be in that line waiting to kick, crawl, claw, and pimp-slap anyone who gets in my way of this Versace jacket. Play with it! Kanye was seen rocking the very Miami-esque jacket last week during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and from the moment I saw it on him I knew that my closet of treasure wouldn’t be complete without it. There’s just something about it that seems to be beaconing me to purchase it. Yeah, its a tad gaudy, but that’s signature Versace. The perfect amount of panache for dat ass!

Words to Live By…Robert De Niro

“There’s nothing more ironic or contradictory than life itself.”

You Know You’re a Hooker When…

Someone asks to use your phone for second, whether it’s to make a call or maybe even show you a feature, and you stand over their shoulder watching, like a malnourished hawk seeking prey, afraid they are going to stumble upon your “ho tendencies” files on your phone. Uhmmmm, calm down Thirsty McThirstyson, I’m not trying to see the various illicit pictures you have on your smartphone or the XXX-rated sexts which I’m sure you have running rampant on the device, I was just trying to show you how to download Angry Birds!

Auditory Eargasm…Florence + The Machine “Only If For a Night”

Epical Perfection!

I was beyond excited last week with the release of the new Florence + The Machine album, Ceremonials, and she certainly didn’t disappoint. Upon first listen I instantly fell in love with the album opener, “Only If For a Night” and it’s been on constant repeat all week long. The stirring production is a hybrid mix of lush piano instrumentation overlapped with a thumping bass line; music that you’d expect from Coldplay or even Kanye. Not to mention her ethereal vocals seem to melt right into the track and flutter effortlessly over such a hard beat. In other words it’s basically AMAZING! Give it a listen below!