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Hang It Up…Flatscreen:

Hang It Up…Flatscreen: Cut-Off Denim Vests!

I will be the first to admit that I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with anything involving denim above the waistline, but every now and then I see a really cool looking denim jacket or piece of fashion that makes me think, “Oh wow, maybe it’s not SO bad.” And then I see these denim monstrosities that have managed to invade the “hipster” culture over the last couple years and it sends me back to despising the look altogether once again. Maybe it’s just me, but I just don’t get it. Do you think chopping the arms off your denim jacket makes you look rebellious? Because I think it makes you look like you got really high and then proceeded to get dressed in the dark. It’s time to hang this look up for GOOD folks…FLATSCREEN!

If you’re into this look now, this is what you’re most likely going to be dressed like in 30 years (let’s go ahead and save your grandchildren the embarrassment now please)……

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Hang It Up…Flatscreen: Vests with T-Shirts!

There’s no denying the fashion power that the men’s vast has had over the past few years. For the better part of the last decade its become a major staple in most fashionable men’s closets, and it’s the perfect addition for some extra panache to any boring old button-up shirt and tie combo. But there’s one pairing that I simply cannot co-sign; wearing a vest with a random t-shirt.

First-things-first, that Ed Hardy graphic tee you’re wearing with your Sunday-best vest needed to be retired back in 2007 so you should be getting a ticket for that fashion violation before we even get started. Secondly, unless your main objective is to look like The Situation from Jersey Shore than you should know better that this fashion venture is a big no-no. A vest should provide an air of class to your outfit; it shouldn’t make you look like a coked-up Los Angeles gigolo. Hang it up…FLATSCREEN!

 


Hang it Up…Flatscreen: Fur Vests!!!!

I have to say I’ve never really understood this trend. Not for a second. I’ve never really been a big fan of fur coats as a whole just because they look super tacky to me, but at least it serves the purpose of keeping you warm in cold weather. But a fur VEST? Seriously? It looks like you raided Sonny Bono’s vintage wardrobe closet from his 70’s variety show with Cher. Every time I see some chick walking around with one of those Yogi Bear-looking horrors my mind immediately goes to the old episode of Golden Girls when Sophia and Dorothy were dressed as Sonny and Cher…and as you can see below Sophia was rocking that shit harder than Rachel Zoe could ever dream of! LOL! Ladies, it’s time to hang it up…flatscreen!


Hang it Up…Flatscreen: Flip-Flops with Jeans!!!

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a semi-disdainful relationship with flip-flops. I’ve always felt that unless you were going to the beach or vacationing in the tropics than your ass doesn’t need to be wearing flip-flops day-in and day-out. Let’s be real, you’re just being lazy and not even attempting to have a shred of good taste.

But the final straw that really grinds my gears is when I see folks out on the town wearing a pair flip-flops with jeans! Really? This look may have flown when you were transitioning from the harsh reality of middle school into the even crueler waters of high school, but if your ass is at the point where you’re paying back your college loans and you’re STILL rocking this look than you need to be voted off the island…PERMANENTLY! Skinny jeans + flip-flops = DISASTER! Hang it up…Flatscreen!


Hang It Up…Flatscreen: Ties With Short-Sleeve Button-Ups!!!

I really don’t care how many articles GQ or Details can publish every year about how you can make the “tie with a short-sleeve button-up” look work because frankly you CAN’T! Not unless you’re intentionally trying to look like Dwight from The Office. And pairing the tie with an extra-small button-up from Baby Gap really isn’t making the look any damn better. I’m really not even sure why this is even still an option in 2011, but I recently sat across from a fella at Starbucks in Hollywood who clearly thought his look was extra POPPIN and ROCKIN and it made me realize there’s still a segment of folk that enjoy looking like a copy machine salesman. It’s time to hang it up…flatscreen!


Hang It Up…Flatscreen: Animal Tails!!!

Okay, this may have been “trendy” for all of 3.8 seconds (even though I never really understood it), but it’s time to hang this trend up for good! Why someone wants to look like they’re smuggling ferrets in their Levi’s is kinda beyond me but it’s not cute. HANG IT UP…FLATSCREEN!